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persona_systemThis comes up at least once a week, without fail. I never watch TV. I don't like TV. I don't watch any shows. I don't watch TV on my computer. I don't read episode synopses of the hottest shows so I can converse about it. I DO NOT WATCH TV.
I've met plenty of other people who are in the same boat as me. Together, we form a group I think of as 'the unplugged'. I know, through experience, that people who do watch TV don't really understand what it means to not watch TV. We are, as a system, completely divorced from the most common element of our society's culture. We talk to hundreds of people every week, and most of those people cannot hold a conversation without referencing TV in some way. A significant portion literally cannot maintain a discussion about something that isn't TV. Bring up any other subject, whether it's the weather or their day at work, and they can't proceed without steering things back around to some TV show or another.
We are, as a society, lonely. People feel isolated. They feel disconnected from others. I know why. It isn't because being lonely is human nature. It isn't because people are islands.
At a most basic level, I believe interacting with people should be about people. It should give insight into the people doing the interacting. Discussing music tastes, or how the weather will affect work, or asking someone how they're feeling... Those are all topics that give us some idea of what another person is interested in, and how they think. Talking about TV can do that, if the conversation is about how you relate to some TV-related thing (for example, 'seeing Suzanne on The Metropolis last night made me realize how much I enjoy work'). But, let's be honest, when the discussion is about TV, it is never about the people doing the talking. It's about how funny or outrageous that program is.
In this respect talking about TV becomes a fantastic way to not talk to people. You can talk for hours about a show without ever putting your own thoughts or feelings out for consumption. I know it's possible, because I've done it many times. It's harder to do this with a book or a movie, because the quantity of material, and the way it's presented, are different. It's incredibly hard to relate to someone if they aren't offering information about themself.
I think in some respects I've become a bit of an expert at analyzing conversations. (I'm terrible at analyzing emotional responses and hidden meanings behind words. I'm talking about face-value interractions.) This is because I sell for a living. I sell to make my living, and the main hurdle when selling is relating to the person enough to make them buy. This sounds manipulative. That's because it is manipulative. I strike up conversations with every person that walks into our booths. I strike up conversations with random strangers walking by. I talk to thousands of people every day, and on average it takes me about thirty seconds to get them interested in buying. Sometimes, though, it's a little more difficult. It becomes literally impossible when they refuse to give me information about them.
And it dawned on me that selling isn't the only thing that becomes impossible if one party isn't responsive. Communication and a personal connection become impossible as well. (You would think I'd know this, being polyamorous, which requires an incredibly high level of communication to maintain. But it had honestly never occured to me that communication with loved ones was based on the same principles as communication with strangers.) And what is the main avoidance mechanism people use when talking to me? They talk about TV. Some clearly don't even realize they're doing it.
I don't like the behaviors it promotes. Screaming rages, adults having tantrums, emotional abuse, back-stabbing, lying, cheating, manipulating people... Unhealthy relationships are the norm on most shows. Characters obsess after their object of desire for 'years', and women swing wildly between doing anything to please their man and doing everything to treat their man like shit.
I don't like the stereotypes. I don't like seeing a cast of dozens of characters forced into their own little slot. This is especially noticeable with women, but I think it's now coming full circle back around to the men. Women do not have to act like love-struck idiots longing for a man to make them complete. They don't become overbearing harpies the minute they become mothers-in-law. They don't have to have screaming fits when they don't get their way, or weep at their desks while their friends circle around and console them. They can fall somewhere in the middle ground.
Likewise, men do not have to be playboys, jackasses, or loveable dopes. They don't have to be clueless or insensitive. They don't have to be Homer Simpson. And while we're on that subject, there's no need to put down the men just to prove how strong the women characters are. If they're strong, they'll stand on their own as equals. And no, gay men are not all effeminate twinks or leather-bound bears.
I find it incredibly sad and funny that so many men and women have worked for years to further the cause of equal rights, but their work is being undone by something as simple as an electronic box. Why are women and minorities discriminated against? Why has so much of the work gone to waste? Because the people spreading the equal rights message (and the people hearing the message) go home at night and turn on the TV and laugh at the 'crazy woman' stereotype or the hispanic stereotype.
(On a more personal note, and can't count the number of times a certain situation has played out on blogs and personal correspondance. A woman who is very feminist links to a TV episode or movie scene, talking about how hilarious/charming/wonderful it is. I click on the link and I'm immediately struck by how very anti-feminist and counter-productive the program is to the feminist cause. Ladies and gentlemen, please. If you want women to get equal recognition, then wake up and realize that supporting negative portrayals of women IS NOT the way to go about it.)
I don't like that many people become so conditioned to hearing the TV that they have to leave it on all the time. The excuse I normally hear is 'I need background noise.' Life has background noise. Even in the middle of nowhere, there is background noise, whether it's the wind or the house creaking or traffic and people on the street outside. That's a bullshit excuse. What it really means is that these people have become so conditioned to having the TV that they're bored without it. They're aimless. They're lonely. And rather than finding a hobby or enjoying peace and quiet, they need this crutch.
Anyway, I saw a few too many stupid articles and comments today, so that's my little rant to get it all out of my system.
(Also, we might potentially be going driving tomorrow, and I'm trying to get myself out of the panic attack loop I'm stuck in.)
I've met plenty of other people who are in the same boat as me. Together, we form a group I think of as 'the unplugged'. I know, through experience, that people who do watch TV don't really understand what it means to not watch TV. We are, as a system, completely divorced from the most common element of our society's culture. We talk to hundreds of people every week, and most of those people cannot hold a conversation without referencing TV in some way. A significant portion literally cannot maintain a discussion about something that isn't TV. Bring up any other subject, whether it's the weather or their day at work, and they can't proceed without steering things back around to some TV show or another.
We are, as a society, lonely. People feel isolated. They feel disconnected from others. I know why. It isn't because being lonely is human nature. It isn't because people are islands.
At a most basic level, I believe interacting with people should be about people. It should give insight into the people doing the interacting. Discussing music tastes, or how the weather will affect work, or asking someone how they're feeling... Those are all topics that give us some idea of what another person is interested in, and how they think. Talking about TV can do that, if the conversation is about how you relate to some TV-related thing (for example, 'seeing Suzanne on The Metropolis last night made me realize how much I enjoy work'). But, let's be honest, when the discussion is about TV, it is never about the people doing the talking. It's about how funny or outrageous that program is.
In this respect talking about TV becomes a fantastic way to not talk to people. You can talk for hours about a show without ever putting your own thoughts or feelings out for consumption. I know it's possible, because I've done it many times. It's harder to do this with a book or a movie, because the quantity of material, and the way it's presented, are different. It's incredibly hard to relate to someone if they aren't offering information about themself.
I think in some respects I've become a bit of an expert at analyzing conversations. (I'm terrible at analyzing emotional responses and hidden meanings behind words. I'm talking about face-value interractions.) This is because I sell for a living. I sell to make my living, and the main hurdle when selling is relating to the person enough to make them buy. This sounds manipulative. That's because it is manipulative. I strike up conversations with every person that walks into our booths. I strike up conversations with random strangers walking by. I talk to thousands of people every day, and on average it takes me about thirty seconds to get them interested in buying. Sometimes, though, it's a little more difficult. It becomes literally impossible when they refuse to give me information about them.
And it dawned on me that selling isn't the only thing that becomes impossible if one party isn't responsive. Communication and a personal connection become impossible as well. (You would think I'd know this, being polyamorous, which requires an incredibly high level of communication to maintain. But it had honestly never occured to me that communication with loved ones was based on the same principles as communication with strangers.) And what is the main avoidance mechanism people use when talking to me? They talk about TV. Some clearly don't even realize they're doing it.
I don't like the behaviors it promotes. Screaming rages, adults having tantrums, emotional abuse, back-stabbing, lying, cheating, manipulating people... Unhealthy relationships are the norm on most shows. Characters obsess after their object of desire for 'years', and women swing wildly between doing anything to please their man and doing everything to treat their man like shit.
I don't like the stereotypes. I don't like seeing a cast of dozens of characters forced into their own little slot. This is especially noticeable with women, but I think it's now coming full circle back around to the men. Women do not have to act like love-struck idiots longing for a man to make them complete. They don't become overbearing harpies the minute they become mothers-in-law. They don't have to have screaming fits when they don't get their way, or weep at their desks while their friends circle around and console them. They can fall somewhere in the middle ground.
Likewise, men do not have to be playboys, jackasses, or loveable dopes. They don't have to be clueless or insensitive. They don't have to be Homer Simpson. And while we're on that subject, there's no need to put down the men just to prove how strong the women characters are. If they're strong, they'll stand on their own as equals. And no, gay men are not all effeminate twinks or leather-bound bears.
I find it incredibly sad and funny that so many men and women have worked for years to further the cause of equal rights, but their work is being undone by something as simple as an electronic box. Why are women and minorities discriminated against? Why has so much of the work gone to waste? Because the people spreading the equal rights message (and the people hearing the message) go home at night and turn on the TV and laugh at the 'crazy woman' stereotype or the hispanic stereotype.
(On a more personal note, and can't count the number of times a certain situation has played out on blogs and personal correspondance. A woman who is very feminist links to a TV episode or movie scene, talking about how hilarious/charming/wonderful it is. I click on the link and I'm immediately struck by how very anti-feminist and counter-productive the program is to the feminist cause. Ladies and gentlemen, please. If you want women to get equal recognition, then wake up and realize that supporting negative portrayals of women IS NOT the way to go about it.)
I don't like that many people become so conditioned to hearing the TV that they have to leave it on all the time. The excuse I normally hear is 'I need background noise.' Life has background noise. Even in the middle of nowhere, there is background noise, whether it's the wind or the house creaking or traffic and people on the street outside. That's a bullshit excuse. What it really means is that these people have become so conditioned to having the TV that they're bored without it. They're aimless. They're lonely. And rather than finding a hobby or enjoying peace and quiet, they need this crutch.
Anyway, I saw a few too many stupid articles and comments today, so that's my little rant to get it all out of my system.
(Also, we might potentially be going driving tomorrow, and I'm trying to get myself out of the panic attack loop I'm stuck in.)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-03 07:03 pm (UTC)I haven't watched raw tv in over six months, and only so recently through an accident. While this body was in high school I never watched anything on tv. I did, occasionally, go out to see movies with friends. That was basically the only exposure to pop culture and media I had.
The shows and their stereotypes aggravate me. Commercials aggravate me. Watching tv with people around me aggravates me.
I'm terribly dull, or so most of Sadie's friends thought years ago. If I watched anything, it'd be a nature documentary. I've seen nearly everything David Attenbourough's narrated because it's one of the few things I can stand to watch.