persona_system: "I am a soldier. I fight where I'm told, and win where I fight." (Default)
Thank you, Kristi, for the lovely book! I've heard about it, and it sounds pretty fascinating. :) 

Other gifts under the tree on the coffee table included...
District 9 (From Sephiroth, to the system)
An electric votive candle in a Japanese Lantern. Pretty cute! (From Grandma)
$100 from Grandma (Thank the Gods!)
A "travel calculator", ... because we spend so much time traveling. This is one of those "thanks, grandma -_-; " gifts. ^_~
Some expensive soaps (Rosemary-Lavendar, Orange-Cloves, Almond-Oatmeal) and lotion (Sandalwood) From the rents
Some more hair ribbons, one with skulls and another in navy with white laced stitching around the edge. Very lolita.

So, overall much better than I had been expecting (nothing)! And our grandma also sent some cookies and coffee to the whole family, so that should go nice with dinner.

Speaking of which, we have to start it soon and I don't want to leave our mother to cook all of it, but we have a pounding headache that will not go away. Our fever didn't come back last night, but it seems all that uncomfortableness decided to focus itself on our lymphatic system. Our neck is aching something feirce, but I'm glad because that normally means we'll be over whatever's plaguing us pretty quick.

Anyway, Merry Christmas to all!

persona_system: Sephiroth in the sunset. Hope. (S: Hope)
Feeling pretty crap. Hopefully it clears up a bit before we have to cook on Christmas.

Christmas/Christmas Eve is when Zax and I really hit it off with Violet. We've been sort of considering it our unofficial anniversary, because there isn't really date where we became an official couple. So, here's a public anniversary to you.

This is going to sound totally cheesy, (but probably not as cheesy as their real anniversary gift will be) but I found this song not too long ago and I think it pretty much sums up my personal feelings both when we first met you, love, and my feelings now heading into the end of our first year together. I think we've linked you this song already, right? Because we can't get it out of our head. ;)

It's the season of grace coming out of the void,
Where a man is saved by a voice in the distance.
It's the season of possible miracle cures,
Where hope is currency, and death is not the last unknown,
Where time begins to fade
And age is welcome home.

It's the season of eyes meeting over the noise,
And holding fast with sharp realization.
It's the season of cold making warmth a divine intervention.
You are safe here, you know now.

Don't forget.
Don't forget I love
I love
I love you.

It's the season of scars and of wounds in the heart,
Of feeling the full weight of our burdens.
It's the season of bowing our heads in the wind,
And knowing we are not alone in fear,
Not alone in the dark.

Don't forget.
Don't forget I love
I love
I love you.
persona_system: Sephiroth in the sunset. Hope. (S: Hope)
This comes up at least once a week, without fail. I never watch TV. I don't like TV. I don't watch any shows. I don't watch TV on my computer. I don't read episode synopses of the hottest shows so I can converse about it. I DO NOT WATCH TV.

Cut )

I don't like the behaviors it promotes. Screaming rages, adults having tantrums, emotional abuse, back-stabbing, lying, cheating, manipulating people... Unhealthy relationships are the norm on most shows. Characters obsess after their object of desire for 'years', and women swing wildly between doing anything to please their man and doing everything to treat their man like shit.

I don't like the stereotypes.
I don't like seeing a cast of dozens of characters forced into their own little slot. This is especially noticeable with women, but I think it's now coming full circle back around to the men. Women do not have to act like love-struck idiots longing for a man to make them complete. They don't become overbearing harpies the minute they become mothers-in-law. They don't have to have screaming fits when they don't get their way, or weep at their desks while their friends circle around and console them. They can fall somewhere in the middle ground.

Likewise, men do not have to be playboys, jackasses, or loveable dopes. They don't have to be clueless or insensitive. They don't have to be Homer Simpson. And while we're on that subject, there's no need to put down the men just to prove how strong the women characters are. If they're strong, they'll stand on their own as equals. And no, gay men are not all effeminate twinks or leather-bound bears.

I find it incredibly sad and funny that so many men and women have worked for years to further the cause of equal rights, but their work is being undone by something as simple as an electronic box. Why are women and minorities discriminated against? Why has so much of the work gone to waste? Because the people spreading the equal rights message (and the people hearing the message) go home at night and turn on the TV and laugh at the 'crazy woman' stereotype or the hispanic stereotype.

(On a more personal note, and can't count the number of times a certain situation has played out on blogs and personal correspondance. A woman who is very feminist links to a TV episode or movie scene, talking about how hilarious/charming/wonderful it is. I click on the link and I'm immediately struck by how very anti-feminist and counter-productive the program is to the feminist cause. Ladies and gentlemen, please. If you want women to get equal recognition, then wake up and realize that supporting negative portrayals of women IS NOT the way to go about it.)

I don't like that many people become so conditioned to hearing the TV that they have to leave it on all the time. The excuse I normally hear is 'I need background noise.' Life has background noise. Even in the middle of nowhere, there is background noise, whether it's the wind or the house creaking or traffic and people on the street outside. That's a bullshit excuse. What it really means is that these people have become so conditioned to having the TV that they're bored without it. They're aimless. They're lonely. And rather than finding a hobby or enjoying peace and quiet, they need this crutch.

Anyway, I saw a few too many stupid articles and comments today, so that's my little rant to get it all out of my system.

(Also, we might potentially be going driving tomorrow, and I'm trying to get myself out of the panic attack loop I'm stuck in.)

persona_system: Sephiroth in the sunset. Hope. (S: Hope)
And I love all of them. Some aren't quite what I was hoping for, but they're all nice scents.

My initial impressions... I haven't worn any of them yet. I know the scents change on skin and over time. After we shower this evening I'll put one on and see how it smells. :D

Tempest - A bit cold,  smells like laundry detergent. Very fresh. There's a hint of water in it, but it's not enough to make up for the laundry detergent scent. Definitely not what I was hoping for, but it's pleasant.

Lightning - Very similar to tempest, but with less detergent and more orange. It's almost citrusy, and more cold than Tempest. It's definitely a sweeter smell, but neither really live up to the description. I'd definitely get Lightning again, but not more me.

Niflheim - Very sharp. It has that same hint of orange as Lightning, and maybe some mint? It's definitely a more masculine smell, but it's not unpleasantly so. Very bleak. This is probably my favorite of the bunch.

Antony - Also nice, but very stereotypically masculine. I was hoping for a little less mint to this one, because in the vial it comes across as being a lot like aftershave.

Moscow - This is floral out the ass. There's a lot of lilac and lavendar, and maybe lily or orange blossom? It smells like a flower garden, but it's not sickly sweet. This would be a good spring scent.

Cathedral - Exactly as it was described. Leather and sandalwood and a little bit of incense. The next time we order I'll be picking up more from this series.

We also got two extra imps. :D
The Phantom Wooer - Classic perfume. Darker florals without the minty crispness. This is a really classic scent, and I like it.

Defututa - This one is crazy sweet. Very very girly. It smells a bit like kid's orange toothpaste, with the citrus and sugar smell. But it's also got some bubble gum in there, or maybe cotton candy. Miku loves it. It's a much more childish scent than the other's too, which is nice.
persona_system: Sephiroth in the sunset. Hope. (S: Hope)
We're on a roll! Anyway, to wash out some of The Angst from the past few days...

It's that time of year again. That's right, Sephiroth's Baking Marathon. We got the latest issue of Family Circle in the mail yesterday, and it's jam packed with stuff I'm itching to try out. I'm sure I'll be uncovering some other recipies to add to this list, but here's the start...

Twisted Berry Nut Bread (pg108)
Holiday Carrot Cake (pg110)
Stained Glass Cookies (pg116)
Rocky Road Shortbread (pg118)
Gingerbread somethings
French Toast Cupcakes (pg126)

Also on the agenda this year...
Deco'd sugar cookies
Pumpkin Pie
Oatmeal Cookies
Zax's cookies
Rice Pudding
Pumpkin Pudding

More pressingly, I have to find time to throw together a peach cobbler this weekend, and an apple something next week. I might just do an apple pie.

So much to bake, so little time! Speaking of little time, it's after midnight and we have a long weekend ahead. Toodle-loo!


Nov. 4th, 2009 06:02 pm
persona_system: (Albel: Crismon Scourge)
We need some sort of plan. I am quite sick of watching this group of able-bodied individuals laze around all day like useless louts. I'd like some sort of a solution soon. Perhaps Sephiroth will only front when he's talking to someone or at work? Zax has been out more often the past week or so. That's a start. And Razputin.

Fayt and I will do our part, too. I'm sure I can convince Nein to pitch in here and there. We'll see if this improves the health of the group and make adjustments as needed.

I'd also like to compile some music that isn't so revoltingly sentimental. I want something to listen to out front just as much as anybody. And really now... Coldplay, Sephiroth? Give me a break.

I would imagine this change will cause a bit of havoc with our communication. We'll manage somehow, I'm sure.

Fayt and I played Legend of Mana with Zax for a while. I want to play the Dragoon arc, but Zax is insisting we go through the Jumi arc first. I suspect either he or Sephiroth has a crush on the main Jumi protagonist Elazul.

Ah well. if the game holds my interest long enough to attempt the New Game + I'll play the dragoon arc and the faerie arc with Fayt.
persona_system: A hand against a beautiful sky. (Z: Bright)
And chores. Our to-do list today is a mile long, but none of it HAS to get done today. Seph ordered some BPAL samplers the other day, and I'm hoping they arrive soon because we're all itching to check them out. He got, if I remember correctly...

Lightning - For seph
Tempest - For Nagi
Antony - For me n Fayt and Albel
Cathedral - For Farf
Moscow - For Raz (And also Lena and Nein, probably)
Niflheim - For Ender and anyone else who likes it

We've been thinking for a long time about picking out some scents for all of us. I think this is a good start. I wish they offered samples of all of their products, because there are a lot that we'd love to check out, but can't because $15 a vial is a lot of damn money.

Other than that, we've been mostly enjoying two weeks without much work. We're heading into the winter months, which means events are going to get more scarce, but they're also going to suck a lot more because it'll be cold. We're really pushing our stuff as "great for Christmas" though, so hopefully we'll do well this season.

Schuldig and Farf fronted for a bit yesterday, with Nagi and Crawford co-fronting. Schuldig got about halfway through writing a post, but then we had to go out and he deleted it. Seph's been prodding everyone else to get out a little more, and I think maybe his nagging is starting to work. Actually, I think a big part of what's helping was our grandmother showing those pictures from her trips. That and the changing of seasons and some general changes in our goals and things.

I have to say, it's nice to be around the front without Seph's anxiety issues clouding things. Don't get me wrong, i love my Sephy and he's an awesome guy, but he's not the most mentally healthy person, and I think the body magnifies that. Having Fayt and Albel, or Schwarz, or our Psychonauts front occassionally is pretty sweet.

Anyway, thought I should post a bit. Prove that I'm around. Take care everyone.
persona_system: Zax looking up. Bright eyed boys. (Z: Stories- Bright Eyed)
A recap:

We spent the week busting our asses cleaning the house. The body's paternal grandmother arrived on Thursday. We spent Friday working and prepping for Paris Pumpkin Fest on Saturday, and we put the dogs in the kennel for the weekend. Saturday we worked from dawn to dusk at the busiest facepainting event of the year. Today we drove all the way to Denton to check out a potential event, looked at some pictures our grandmother took in Russia, and then she went back to the hotel.

Our father's driving her to the airport tomorrow morning, and we'll be picking up the dogs from the vet kennel with our mother, so this is the last we'll see of her for a while.

I'm glad.

Glad it's over, glad the house is in good shape, glad we don't have a big event next weekend we have to prep for, glad she's gone.

This visit was pretty uncomfortable for us. Thankfully we managed to avoid a lot of grilling by diverting her attention to our father, but it was still rough. Most everyone in the system that cares about our situation, and especially those of us who have been around a long time, bear a bit of ill will towards her. And, for me n Seph and Ender in particular, we're all really bitter. I hate to say it, but it's true.

She's very ditzy. She doesn't listen. And because she doesn't listen she's really infuriating to talk to. And she can be fucking insulting. She's so hoity toity that her perception of how easy or difficult certain tasks are for us mere mortals is really skewed.

Like, this is about verbatim a normal conversation with her.

A: We're going to Denton to visit Trade Days USA.
Her: Oh, is that a trade days?
A: Yes, Trade Days USA. I told you about it this morning.
H: And this is where?
A: In Denton.
H: Wait, I thought we were going to a trades day?
A: Yes, we're going to Trade Days USA, which is in the city of Denton.
H: So what are we going to do in... Where did you say it was? 
A: Denton.
H: I thought we were going to this trade days place?

I'm not exhagerating.

And she really insulted Seph at dinner tonight. Oh man, she insulted the whole fucking family. She asked why we or our father couldn't get another job. Fair question. We explained that our hours wouldn't accomodate it, and that we both work about 50 hours a week as it is. I know to an outside observer it might not seem like that much, but it adds up pretty quick. So she asked why we couldn't get anything part time. We explained again. Oh, well couldn't we just get a temp position? No, we can't, there are only so many hours in a day. But surely we could get a temp job or something part-time... I mean, we have just sooo much time off that we aren't doing anything...

Yeah, Seph was fucking PISSED. Our father was, too, because of course the implication was "if you would just get off your ass and get a second job, you'd have more money." No shit we'd have more money, if we could somehow hop in our time machine and have more hours in the day to be scheduling in work somewhere. And Seph works really fucking hard at his job. I mean, we all do, but he's our 'work' guy. Plus, he just likes being in control of our lives.

And she was basically like... Dismissing the work we already do, like 'oh that's so easy peasy! Just drive on over to McDonalds and apply for more!' Like she didn't just watch all three of us work a fucking 20 hour day. Like she didn't just help us keep our water fresh and sponges stocked while we worked non-fucking-stop for eight hours straight. And like we don't spend hours every day as it is, prepping product and researching events and makeup techniques and painstakingly prepping new pictures for the sign and new graphics and shit for the business. You know, we just sit on our ass so much after those thirty, forty, fifty hour weekends.

Okay, it pissed me off, too. But Seph was bent about it.

Anyway, didn't mean for this to turn into a rant. But that was our weekend. Glad it's over. We made good money at Paris.

I love you, Violet.
persona_system: "I am a soldier. I fight where I'm told, and win where I fight." (Z: Fight or Flight)
Okay, okay, so we don't really have to clean the ENTIRE rest of the house. Some of it's already done! Like, the kitchen. Most of the way there. The livingroom, too. I dunno WHAT we're gonna do about the dining room where all the business stuff is. I guess it doesn't matter so much, though.

So today we're gonna be working on busting the rest of the house out. Our G-ma arrives tomorrow, I think mid-morning or something. So we've gotta get this shit DONE. On the plus side, the floors will be a little muddy 'cause it's raining today, so we won't have to do some sort of massive scrub job on them. What's the point when the dogs are just going to muck them up every time they come in anyway?

Anywho, I was supposed to send a letter to my boyfriend last night but I didn't. Sorry about that, babe. I sat down to write it and just like vapor-locked. Couldn't remember what I was gonna write, couldn't think of what to write.

Anyway, gotta lot of work to do today. I'm gonna put our to-do list down and update it as the day goes on over on our LJ.

Living Room
  • Vacuum throw pillows
  • Vacuum and wash both sofas
  • Cover sofas
  • Finish tidying up

  • Clean stove
  • Scrub and mop floor
  • Wash trashcan
  • Dishes and counters

  • Dust pictures

  • Dust light, walls, shelf, pics
  • New shower curtain
  • Wash sink, tub, toilet
  • Scrub floor
  • Tidy up



persona_system: Walking through the rain. Duty. (S: Duty)
Today's the big day. The day we're tackling The Room. In capitals. Fayt, Raz, and Nagi got started this morning and got about halfway through, and now Zax and I are taking over. Well, we took over, and now I'm trying to get someone else to volunteer to finish the job. What a pain in the ass this is. I think I'm going to clear the floor in a few minutes and un-roll our rug. That'll give me something to kneel on while I sort and vacuum. But, it needs to be thoroughly vacuumed, too, so... We'll see.

Anyway, the body has a killer headache and we've got hours more work in here. At least it'll be done and clean. We'll be able to actually USE our room. I'm probably going to rearrange a bit, too, once all the junk is cleared out and put away.

Zax and I are thinking of you, Strife. Love you!


Zax says: This is such a hassle. Why does she have to come days before one of the busiest events of the year?
persona_system: Walking through the rain. Duty. (S: Duty)
This next week is going to be incredibly hectic. As if the past few weeks haven't been hectic enough.

First I wanted to do some pimpage of a comic I absolutely adore. MS Paint Adventures. Specifically, the latest ongoing story, Homestuck. In fact, I adore Homestuck enough that I bought the first volume of the soundtrack, and I'm eagerly awaiting the next volume.

In true MSPA style, the story starts out as a simple thread about a boy and his adventures and quickly begins following the stories of his friends and strangers from other dimensions. For really dedicated MSPA readers there's a lot of in-jokes and references to past Adventures (especially Problem Sleuth and Jailbreak). Remember, though, these comics aren't meant to be funny. They're ADVENTURES. Many pages are animated, many have sound, and some even have interactive mini-games. The soundtrack has some truly amazing chiptune pieces, too. ;) I particularly like Aggrieve and Showtime (Imp Strife Remix), and my newest favorite Explore. (Warning, don't watch the page if you don't want to be spoiled!) 

Anyway, fangirl squeeling out of the way, our grandmother (on our father's side) is coming into town on Thursday. This means the entire house has to be completely cleaned and scrubbed down by WEDNESDAY, and we have to work all weekend. Our mother is going to put in some major cleaning time, and we will be, too, next week. Of course, after we're done with the event this weeked we have to go to Dallas to restock, and we have to process all the new product for Paris Pumpkin Fest NEXT weekend. Our grandmother will be "helping" us with that event. So it's like a quadruple workload or something.

I also have to figure out a selection of pictures we've been working on to show her, and I need to practice the piano a little more this week. (Yeah, like I'll have time for that!) I wanted to get it tuned, but there's just no way we can afford the extra expense with winter coming up. We need to be a coat and shit, and that's a lot more important, sadly.

So, with this crazy schedule we're probably going to be very much Not Present until our grandmother leaves. After Paris, the events should start getting a little slower and it won't be such a mad rush. I've enlisted the help of some people (notably Fayt, Albel, and Potter) to deal with the stress level and help answer mail, messages, etc. Raz has volunteered for work tomorrow, which will give Zax and I a much needed day off before the craziness starts.

But, I know we won't get to write some letters that need to be written, and Zax has a bunch of posts he wants to finish and that's not likely to happen either. I hate... I hate putting that kind of thing off, because it's really fucking important to us. But at the same time, I don't know what else we can do besides basically take a week off from being online. I mean we'll try to pop on a few times a day like always, but we won't be 'present.'

So, for those that we're going to miss, and those who simply can't live without my amazingly sexy presence, I send my love to you! And, Violet? Love you, my light. Miss you.

persona_system: "I am a soldier. I fight where I'm told, and win where I fight." (Default)
Well, so we have a bit of a secret to talk about. For the past 10 months or so Zax and I have been in a relationship with a member of another multiple system. Specifically Violet, one of the Cloud's of Rainbow-Avalanche. I've sort of wanted to mention this sooner, but at the same time we all like our privacy. Well, we talked about coming out into the open with it this afternoon, so here I am posting about it.

I feel sort of nervous. I mean, I've wanted to let everyone know basically since we started "dating", but then... I don't want to think about other people's reactions or anything like that. It's like... I want everyone to know about his totally awesome thing and how happy Zax and I are with him, but at the same time I want to keep it all to myself.

So yeah. I guess this is probably a surprise for... well, almost all of you. I know VS have all known since the very beginning, and I also wanted to thank them all for being so supportive and understanding with us as we've gone through our ups and downs. Especially when I was mooning over how awesomely awesome Violet was. You guys are seriously awesome friends.

Anyway, so yeah... There's my announcement. Between Zax and Violet I have TWO awesome boyfriends, and we all couldn't be happier. :)

Thinking of you, love!
persona_system: Kadaj looking scary. Needles. (S: Needle)
The leaves aren't turning yet, but the last hot days of summer have passed. Saturday was a beautiful sunny day, up until about 5pm when the event ended and a storm rolled in, and we packed up in the rain. Yesterday was a little gloomy. We spent half the day cleaning up the dining room, which is our business room. There's still a bit of work left to do, but most everything is organized and neat.

We also helped our mother take down the curtains in the dining room. They were sheer light blue, and in any other house they'd have let in plenty of light. But our house is so dark we need as much light as we can get. We tossed them in the wash, and we'll probably just fold them up and put them away somewhere. Instead, we put some white butcher paper over the bottom part of the window, and a little over the top half. So about three quarters of the window is just white paper. It sounds trashier than it looks. We need to tape the paper down a little better in a few places, but overall it turned out pretty nice, and it certainly brightens the room considerably. Plus, it looks very simple, which is an improvement from the ornate and cluttered drapes.

Other than that, our cold is on the upswing, and I bruised our hip pretty badly yesterday because I'm a clumsy fuck. Needless to say, we slept like shit last night. It was a little colder than we've gotten used to, damp, and our entire left leg hurt like a bitch.

I took the dogs outside for a few minutes and played with Grace. Chaplin, our dog, doesn't like to play with us much. But Grace is a huge sweetie and really playful. We have several large trees in our yard that constantly shed branches, and today there was a five foot tree-limb, about two inches in diameter, in the yard. Grace always goes for the largest sticks possible, so it was pretty funny to see her running around trying to keep the branch up. Then, she decided she'd come get me from the back steps, but we have a metal dolly by the back path for hauling our retail stuff around, and the branch caught on the dolly and tipped it over. For some reason she's terrified of any and every kind of dolly, so it took me a few minutes to coax her back into the backyard.

I've been having a blast with Sim City 4. I've started quite a few smaller cities. Mostly I was working on building super ritzy communities, but with my latest project I'm trying to build slowly and keep the budget perfectly balanced. It's a farming community, but i think I'm going to have to move it more towards manufacturing, because otherwise I'll run out of land area! :D

Hopefully Legend of Mana will arrive today. I don't know how eager I am to play it right now, but I don't want it getting lost in the mail or something.

I put a new scent in our Scentsy thing for fall. Maple Butter Pecan or something. And I baked some Banana Spice cookies yesterday. They were so moist that it's more like banana spice crumb goms, but they're delicious anyway.

Also, thinking of you, love.

X-posted from DW to LJ and IJ
persona_system: A young boy looking sad (E: Self portrait)
I can paint a flower and microscopic dots on a squirmy kids face, but I can't paint our own damn fingernails. :D

Anyway, you might have noticed the uncharacteristic lack of journal updates and comments. Part of that is spending so much time spazzing over a new fandom (District 9), part of it is dedicating more time to communities on LJ and the Subeta forums, part of it is journal burnout and talking to people over AIM rather than through comments, and a BIG part of it is us trying to dedicate more time to our art. Once upon a time we spent hours a day drawing. Now we often don't manage hours a week. I suppose our job factors in, because we do get a good bit of creative burnout going on with that. 

Mostly I think there's been a lot of problems holding us back, in terms of art. Probably the first was our moving to Texas five years ago. That caused a period of... non-development, really, where some of us were using art as both an emotional release, but also as an escape. I think how our main fronters viewed art really tainted our overall perceptions of it, because those negative emotions were projected so heavily into our work.

Another issue we have to address is our lack of formal training, and a lack of communication with artists at and above our skill level. (Obviously we all have varying skill levels and strengths, but in general the artists of the group are about equal.) Our friends on dA were either much younger than us and essentially fanboys and girls, or our age and not as skilled. This isn't a strike against them, or something bad. It's just how it is. But it's stifling. Our main artists are all competitive in art, in an indirect way. I think focusing more on technical skills will help us break out of this rut.

The biggest thing holding us back has been stress and depression, but that's something we have to address among ourselves.

Anyway, this is all very rambling and boring, I'm sure. I'm not going to promise we'll be commenting more or anything like that. We're still reading, on all of our services. I'll be including a bit more personal discussion at our LJ that doesn't need to be posted on DW or IJ.

persona_system: A telescope against a starry sky. (Nagi: Incalculable)
We had a large storm last week. It's been cool since then. Well, cool is relative, but it's been hovering in the eighties and nineties. I'm sure there will be days where it is once again sweltering, but I hope those days are few and limited to when we're not working outdoors.

Sephiroth was fronting earlier today. He dressed us in handed down clothes from our mother. Spedifically, an outfit she bought more than fifteen years ago. It doesn't fit her any longer, and she came across it when she was digging through her closet. It is a long swishy skirt, navy blue with an all over flower print, and a dark green tanktop. It is rather transporting. It is the sort of thing we would wear on a vacation, or perhaps on the ranch. Cheap durable clothing that is a bit feminine. I'm thankful most of us don't have a problem with the female body. It makes things easier.

I think in a few minutes I will finish clearing off the desk. There isn't much left to do. Just some general trash pickup and sorting through what's left of the stuff. 

I think more and more we are deciding as a whole what we'd like to do with our lives, and where we'd like to be in five years, ten years, etc. Although the means to the end each individual may choose are very different, there are unifying themes and things we can all agree upon. Obviously we cannot please all people all the time, but I think we can please most of us at least part of the time, and that is perhaps good enough. After all, what person is completely happy with every aspect of their life? None, I'm sure. Even Mother Theresa had doubts and unhappiness.

I spoke of things that are universal in our system. We all want to go to college. I think that is really the first step in the process. We already have the plans laid out, and we're already working towards implementing them. There are things and plans beyond that, but for now they are for our ears only. I suspect they will remain that way for some time.

There are other, smaller things we want to work towards. Sephiroth wants to start playing the piano again. He wants to do this for himself, and we're all fine with that. The piano needs to be tuned before October anyway. He's rusty. And music is something that will be with us forever.

Weight loss is also equally important for a variety of reasons. I think even beyond health is the sentiment that we're tired of being the ugly girl. We work with children, and it is heartbreaking to meet all of the wonderful girls who for whatever reason are going to be "the ugly girl".

But I suppose all of this is just rambling. Hm, I guess most of you don't normally get to see the Nagi behind the cuteness, eh? Welcome to my thoughts. (^_^)

The windows are open to let in the cool evening breeze, and I have work to do. At the risk of sounding creepy, it's time to bring some "healthy energy" into our room. (Yes, VS, you know what that's a reference too.)


PS: I wish there was a mood icon for "serene". Calm doens't do my mood justice.
persona_system: 2 am. A soldier at night. (S: 2am)
First off, WOW. I mean WOW. Most sci fi movies are cheesy in some way. Bad acting, bad science, bad special fx, overwrought morality... Not this movie. Of course, it was produced by Peter Jackson, so that might be why it's a cut above the rest! ;)

The premise:
20 years ago an alien ship came to rest over Johannesburg. The aliens were taken out of the ship and put up in a temporary containment camp. Present day, a slum has grown up where this camp used to be, populated by 1.5 million "Prawns". The people of Johannesburg are demanding the removal of the District 9, the prawn slum, so the weapon's manufacturing mega-corp MNU steps in to move the prawns to a new location.

I can't really give you the main themes of this movie. It was all over the place, which is sometimes a bad thing, and sometimes a great thing. In this movie, it's a great thing. Discrimination is terrible, people are inhuman, love overcomes all obstacles, sometimes you just have to believe in yourself, etc.... But really this is a movie about discrimination. And explosions. 




This is definitely a movie I plan to own! There were two previews that interested me, too. Surrogate and Zombieland. I'll be looking forward to seeing those!

persona_system: Walking through the rain. Duty. (S: Duty)
I like our DW, even though it's mostly fic oriented. I like the communities here. I like LJ, for obvious reasons. But I'm rapidly getting sick of maintaining our main IJ account. I'm really REALLY tempted to drop it and stick to posting on IJ in our private journal only. In fact, at this point it's almost a given that we'll be doing that. I hate to, because I hate to do a lot of journal hopping. But... I'm just sick of it. And really, I'm ready to just move the fuck on. It sucks, because we've only had the new IJ for what... less than a year? But I guess I knew this wouild happen. I was ready to leave IJ when I created the new journal. I don't know why I've dragged it on like this.

So, consider this to be a two weeks notice. If you want or need to follow us at IJ and you can't read us anywhere else, Zax and I will continue to occassionally update our personal journal. But that's it. We're moving on to greener pastures. That's good news for those of you  on DW and LJ. It means we won't be dividing our time so much.

And I also came to a decision about our DW. I'm going to crosspost all or most of our LJ entries here, but they'll be locked so they don't clutter up the public fandom portion. :) All of you are already on the privacy filter, so it won't affect you at all.


(x-posted to DW, LJ, and IJ)

Looking In

Jun. 29th, 2009 04:03 am
persona_system: An army boot. Seize the day, my friend. (Z: Seize the Day)
Summary: Angeal would like to know: when did this happen? S/Z
Rating: pg-13 for homosexual undertones
A/N: This is a quick short fic that Angeal whipped up as a present for us. It hasn't been proofread, so if you see any errors in spelling or grammar, please let us know.

Looking In )

persona_system: Sephiroth in the sunset. Hope. (S: Hope)
And I want to talk, so... I guess I'll post this there later. Or... If IJ is back up by the time I'm done writing, I'll crosspost it.

We ordered some books last night. Well, Ender did. He ordered an Algebra book, Geometry... Physics, Chem, and Biology. He said he and I (and Farf and Nagi, if they want) are going to do our old memorization trick, and basically memorize the books and the theories. It shouldn't take us more than a few months to get through those books, and after that Ender wants to start getting us into some more advanced Physics and Chem, and more advanced math.

Now, onto my daily panic attack. :\ You can skip this if you like.

I hate waking up to an inbox full of responses. Or, I used to. It used to be just a hassle to sort through them. Now it's like... It's like even one response and I panic unless I know before hand what it is. If it's to a meme or something, it's fine. But once I start talking about anything more serious it's like... I can help but feel everyone's going to yell at me. It doesn't matter what the topic is, either.

I didn't used to be like this. Not at all. I'd debate for hours on devArt. But now... Now it's so bad, sometimes I'm afraid to even post in our journals anywhere. And I hate the fear, because it makes me feel so irrational. I start thinking things like "Why is so-and-so even friends with me? All they ever do is lecture me!" even though I know logically that's not true at all. In fact, so-and-so might never have lectured me or been mad at me or anything of the sort. But it doesn't feel like that.

And even when people are agreeing with me, it always feels like they're saying "you might be right this time, but you're still a stupid kid." And it's the stupid kid part that hurts, even though I don't think it's really there. But that's the thing, I don't KNOW what they're thinking. I don't get the inflection or anything at all, and so it all just feels like an attack, or sarcasm, or something.

It only makes it worse that we don't get a lot of comments. I think... Zax says I'm not used to talking to people anymore. I think he's right. I mean, our journals are always pretty dead, so when we get any comment at all it's a big deal for us, but then it's like... Like panic. Like, "why is this person talking to me?" or... or I don't know.

Anyway, I'm NOT saying don't ever comment. Just that... Well, I'm just trying to make myself feel better by talking about this, you know? And I'm trying really hard to rationalize out of it.

I think... I think the problem is... It's that, normally when people get into drama online, they say things like "it's just online. It doesn't affect ME at all" to sort of rationalize the hurt and the stress away. But we can't do that at all, because online is all we have. So for us, anything online is just magnified. It's like logging on is like going to school, and all our flist and the people on the communities everywhere are the other students that are our friends, or sometimes not really our friends, and the older people on our flists are like our teachers almost or something.

I don't know...


persona_system: "I am a soldier. I fight where I'm told, and win where I fight." (Default)

March 2010

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