Jan. 1st, 2010

persona_system: A hand against a beautiful sky. (Z: Bright)
We rang in the New Year with a raging fire and the smell of gun powder on the wind. I feel like there's something ironic about Seph's birthday being January 1st. Partially it's because he is someone who clings desperately to the past. He carved a childhood for himself in between lab visits and the days spent marching across Wutai, and those moments he made, they're special to him. Another year gone by is another year carrying him further from those things.

There's also some dark humor to him being at these bonfire parties on his birthday. The smell of burning wood, and the flames lapping against the sky... When I see them, all I see is Nibelheim superimposed across my vision. I know that's all Seph sees too. The fire. And the fireworks going off like missles, whistling all around us. Tonight I kept looking through the crowd, feeling like Seph wasn't standing in our headspace, but was standing there, next to us, and if I just looked around I would see him. See him with his hair streaming out like a banner in the flames.

It's unnerving.

The drive home felt like an eternity. It rained today, and then froze tonight, and the moon was out. It looked like a Robert Frost poem, as I peered out through the glass. Everything was grey and stark black against the sky. i feel like the world has come crashing down on my shoulders, all its weight, pushing me into the ground, and I don't know why. Why do I feel that way?

Seph, I'm thinking of you. Happy Birthday.



persona_system: "I am a soldier. I fight where I'm told, and win where I fight." (Default)

March 2010

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